How I'll make my millions.

I will break from limericks a moment to provide you all with something atypical of me. A blogging. Like most bloggings effusing this great wide world we inhabit, it will be about popular culture. For that, you have my apologies. Today, while working I realized that, unlike other popular television shows, the once hit show ER failed to capitalize upon it's popularity the way other shows, that were never hits, like the CSI series, for example, did. I assume this is because of a failure on the part of ER's marketing branch, or perhaps, a failure on the part of average viewers to allow the small circle of repetitive plots encompasing the CSI series to die with dignity. While ER failed to branch out, other shows, like Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy, House and the like, have stepped in and borrowed the theme with their own twists (admittedly more enlightened twists than simply changing city name and casts) but still the plaguarism fills my nostrils with disdain. At any rate, here's where I would step in. I would propose to the ER a similar marketing idea.

Now, to make another ER show, though I don't really watch TV may seem irresponsible of me to propose, but I assure you my twist would be innovative and I guarantee viewers. You see, like the CSI series, the parallel would have to carry the name of the mother show on, which first and foremost generates instant name recognition. Second, the show would have to be like ER, but with a specialization. Just a regular ER is not enough. I suggest one that only takes extreme cases and loses more patients, for elevated drama. Third, the show would utilize older actors, perhaps individuals the industry thinks are washed up (but aren't). This attempt at a return to glory by an old actor or two would itself be entertaining and for the primary role I suggest getting ahold of Christopher Lambert, who would make an excellent older doctor now. Also, Sean Connery is probably doing nothing. I already even have a city and the name for the hospital, and by consequent, the show. It will be set in Rochester, NY, where there is a Highland Hospital. The show will be called, "Highland: ER."

Like ER, this show will come with a warning about how disturbing the images will be. But the warning will not be enough, because this special Emergency Room will only deal with one type of emergency, decapitations. Though rare, decapitation occurences have spiked since the advent of some violent movies in the mid 80s. And I'm sure video games and stuff have contributed, too. Anyway, it's a public service to educate people about the grim horrors of decapitation. It's not all exhilirating and fun. There's a dark side to it. People can get hurt. And if they do, this is the specialized emergency room they are taken to. Of course, decapitation is difficult to treat. With a very, very low survival rate. About zero, in fact. Anyway, that will only heighten the drama.

What do you think?

I can hear the dialogue now:

"Where's the head? Get him strapped down, stat! We're losin' him!"

"I just can't take this anymore, sir. We haven't saved a single patient yet. I quit."
"You can't quit. You love this."
"No, I love you."
"But, you can't, I love so and so!"

Cue cliche ad infinitum.

Cha ching. Money please.